Address blah blah, phone number blah blah firstname.lastname@example.org
I am interested in obtaining a position where I will utilize my organizational, communications and general office skills. I am an energetic and outgoing committed professional. I believe strongly in diversity and I excel at interpersonal relationships.
Skills: Legal Secretary, Medical Receptionist, Court Administrator, Customer Service. I have experience with multi-line phones, photocopiers, petty cash, fax, digital cameras, personal computers and software: Microsoft Office. I have excellent editing, proofreading, research, revision and scheduling skills.
What a bunch of CRAP! The above is the first couple of paragraphs from a 2008 resume of mine. Nothing against office work or secretaries, it is just not where my MAD skills are found. Holding down a “normal” 8-5 job is a bed of nails. So I’m a writer/poet.
This doesn’t sit well with my mom. She has always thought I should be a secretary. That is, of course, after I dropped out of beauty school. Beautician was her first choice for my life’s work. It’s just not how I tick.
Never mind that I have both a BA and an MFA in Creative Writing, Mom still pictures me steno pad in hand, taking dictation. I have boxes of steno pads, Mom. They are just full of poems.
I do have a past in office work, but the above mention of organizational skills is just a flat out lie. Furthermore, the part about excellent editing and proofreading skills – not true. Also, I freak when I see a multi-line phone or a fax machine, and the only part of Microsoft Office I use is the word processing portion.
The last job I held was in 2008. I was a medical receptionist at a family medicine clinic. I lasted six weeks. The day I left, I had a total meltdown while trying to multi-task a phone call, the patient standing in front of me, and about six other VERY important officey things. I went to the clinic manager in tears and quit. Within about 45 seconds, I was in my car and down the road pledging to never put myself in that position again.
Now, I write full time. I follow my passion. I rise early in the morning, shower and dress as if I were going to a “real” job. My resume is no longer a work of fiction.