Little White Lies – My Old Resume

secretaries_01

 

Patty Kinney

Address blah blah, phone number blah blah pattykinney@hotmail.com

I am interested in obtaining a position where I will utilize my organizational, communications and general office skills. I am an energetic and outgoing committed professional. I believe strongly in diversity and I excel at interpersonal relationships.

Skills: Legal Secretary, Medical Receptionist, Court Administrator, Customer Service. I have experience with multi-line phones, photocopiers, petty cash, fax, digital cameras, personal computers and software: Microsoft Office. I have excellent editing, proofreading, research, revision and scheduling skills.

*****

What a bunch of CRAP! The above is the first couple of paragraphs from a 2008 resume of mine. Nothing against office work or secretaries, it is just not where my MAD skills are found. Holding down a “normal” 8-5 job is a bed of nails. So I’m a writer/poet.

This doesn’t sit well with my mom. She has always thought I should be a secretary. That is, of course, after I dropped out of beauty school. Beautician was her first choice for my life’s work. It’s just not how I tick.

Never mind that I have both a BA and an MFA in Creative Writing, Mom still pictures me steno pad in hand, taking dictation. I have boxes of steno pads, Mom. They are just full of poems.

I do have a past in office work, but the above mention of organizational skills is just a flat out lie. Furthermore, the part about excellent editing and proofreading skills – not true. Also, I freak when I see a multi-line phone or a fax machine, and the only part of Microsoft Office I use is the word processing portion.

*****

The last job I held was in 2008. I was a medical receptionist at a family medicine clinic. I lasted six weeks. The day I left, I had a total meltdown while trying to multi-task a phone call, the patient standing in front of me, and about six other VERY important officey things. I went to the clinic manager in tears and quit. Within about 45 seconds, I was in my car and down the road pledging to never put myself in that position again.

Now, I write full time. I follow my passion. I rise early in the morning, shower and dress as if I were going to a “real” job. My resume is no longer a work of fiction.

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2 thoughts on “Little White Lies – My Old Resume

  1. Hi Patty,

    I’m enjoying your blog. Just read some about your Sweet Carolina Mom and how you kicked the secretarial habit. In case you’re wondering who I am, I met you at the It’s About Time February read. I read two pages from my novel Emma Mulberry’s Whole Story. Any chance you’re doing a fly-by at the AWP convefence this weekend? I’m planning to attend the Book Fair on Saturday. Maybe I’ll see you in one of your Vera Wangs.

    • Hello, I apologize, I totally dropped the blog ball for nearly two months (again). Just grieving for my mom and life. I will post a couple of new things written this week. I did not make it to AWP but I would love to visit sometime when I am in Seattle. I am often there for writing related events and three of my grown sons live up there. Thank you and I totally remember your reading during the open mic the night I read at “It’s About Time In Ballard” – peace & love, Patty

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